Parklife

 What's your season? We've all got one thats a favourite, that we relate to, the holds all the best memories. For me that is autumn. I love everything about it. The changes that come with nature and the weather, we still get our cosy evenings but its not too dark too early and it holds my favourite holiday of Halloween.

Yesterday I got out in nature to three separate places very dear to me and my childhood with two people I love dearly. We walked and talked, collected fir cones and conkers. I love that autumn tradition of hunting for conkers on the ground and knocking them out of trees with a crisp air around and just enough chill to make you glad to get back to a warm home.

Fresh air, cold, nature, green space, walking, loved ones, a cup of tea... all natural remedies for calming the nervous system and boosting those feel good hormones. Linked with memories, human connection and laughter these are powerful tools we can all use to help heal and calm ourselves. Even on the most stressful and busy of days we can look out of the window, let the fresh air into our homes or workspace, stand on the doorstep and take a deep breath,  enjoy a cup of tea or just get up and walk around our space. These can be micro moments of taking a huge hike in the valleys or mountains and coming home to somewhere cosy. For me yesterday was just a walk in the park.

Much love,

Becky xx

Heads Up

Another week, another sick note.

As much as I try to keep going and in some cases this can help me to get through things, I have now learnt to recognise a bout of anxiety that can be worked through and a burn out. This is burnt out time. 

I'm still tired from the panic attack on Tuesday which yes I should of recovered from that now but a sudden stand alone panic attack that came after a long time without any comes with questions and realisations.

I've known this has been a tough year but it came with so much happiness too. A lot went well this year admist a lot going wrong. Things were going so well with relationships and work that I felt it shielded me from the onslaught around it.

But now in context when I look at this year I've had a lot to deal with in all categories. Health, family, relationships, parenthood, finances, living arrangements, diet, exercise. Every area has had some form of struggle. I didn't want to overly share because its not about comparisons. I wouldn't want someone to read this and think 'wow that's way more than what I have going on, I shouldn't feel like this' or 'wow thats nothing compared to me, if shes struggling with that I have no hope of getting through my stuff'.

This used to be my thoughts years ago. I always felt I should be grateful and there are millions of people who have it so much worse that I guilted myself to feeling bad about being not ok.

Another lesson I have learnt is you are allowed to feel. You allowed to struggle.  You are allowed to react. You are allowed grace and time to process and heal. You are human and your emotions and feelings matter. You are allowed to not be ok 

Much love,

Becky xx