Interviewing My Husband About My Mental Illness

Mental illness is not just a personal illness. It can affect the people around you too, in ways you may not realise. Your mind can tell you that the people closest to you don't understand or won't like you anymore. So I wanted to interview my husband and find out how he feels about my mental illness so far. As you can see he's quite a sweetheart but you can also see how it affected him and how this huge strain on the both of us hasn't ruined anything at all...

Since my first breakdown have I changed in anyway?
Yes. You can put yourself down and at first you was just like a zombie. You can still get like that and down but it was more intense then and I had to remind myself you were ill with how you spoke to me. I struggled when you could treat me like crap and I know I argued back, but I knew you were ill and it wasn't you.

Am I still the same now?
No, you're a little bit like that sometimes and still put yourself down. You're anxious but I think those things might always be there. You're more happier though and not like a zombie anymore. I've got my wife back now.

What's been the hardest thing since I was diagnosed?
Standing here doing nothing. It didn't feel like I could do anything. I felt the same as when my Uncle Steve passed away.

What are you most proud of that you've done to help me?
Patience! But I'm not proud of me because if I've done anything good then it's because you're my wife. I don't need a pat on the back. I married you for better or for worse. I'm proud of you for your blog and making people more aware. I've seen people confide in you and talk to you about their problems.

Have you learn't anything new about mental illness?
Yes. The strongest of people can get it, it can happen to anyone. I think there's that many people that don't know about mental health and I didn't have a clue. It taught me it's not just feeling down then taking some pills for it. Things might be stupid to me and stressful, like when you keep checking the door is locked but now it's passed onto me because you worry so much about it. I learn't that's your anxiety and depression makes you feel weak and not able to do anything, it's not just feeling down. I thought tablets would make you instantly better but they don't. I knew it was a big thing but not how big.

Has it changed the way you feel about me?
No. It's been hard but even though you were depressed you still had your personality deep down and still made me smile.

What advice would you give to loved ones of someone with a mental illness?
Try and get them as much help as possible and be there for them. Give them cuddles. There'll be times where you feel sick of them but be patient. Try and speak to other people for yourself and them too. They'll need to speak to someone who's been in the same situation because if you haven't had a mental illness you won't ever understand it properly.

Has anything good come from my mental illness?
I understand more about the illness and you've explained a few signs for me to look out for. When something like this happens it tests your relationship to see if you're strong enough to look after each other. We passed.

Much love,
Becky and Hubby

3 Things We Can Learn From Young Children

There's a common misconception that adults teach children, nah! After working with and studying young children they taught me so much and still teach me now. Although young children can scream, cry and tantrum they are generally happy little souls that live in a world full of wonder. I think we can learn so much from them. Here are 3 very important life lessons that children have taught me...

1. Don't be afraid to fail- I've seen children spend a huge amount of their time trying to climb a piece of equipment or thread string through a bead or put on a coat or make someone watch or listen to them whilst being in a room full of other children and adults. They don't worry about being judged, they don't give up, eventually they might ask for help, they might decide to move onto something else or they might even eventually do the thing they set out to do. They have a goal and they know they can't do it yet but that doesn't stop them. They give things a go and aren't afraid to try. You go guys!

2. Ask- young children aren't scared to ask questions. They'll admit they don't know the answers or don't understand. They want to find things out about other people and the world around them. As adults we can be scared of making ourselves look unintelligent or afraid of asking awkward questions but if you don't ask you'll never know.

3. Be you- any parent will tell you that their young child doesn't hold back expressing themselves! They show their emotions and interests openly. Some can be shy and a little reserved but that's their personality and what you see is what you get. Yes they can act differently around certain people but it's because they choose to do that and don't mind how that comes across to others. They don't test the water on topics they'll tell you "I love cats" or "my dinner is yuk". They might still be learning but they are pretty sure on who they are and what they do and don't like. They're not afraid to show it either.

So my advice for today.... act like a child!

Much love,
Becky xx