Self Appraisal Exercise

I've been thinking about a recent response I left to a blog comment about self appraisal...

It got me to think of how you could do this and get the most out of it, so I have created an exercise that you could do. Whether it's once a month or every few months or you want to do it each week that's up to you but it gives you something to concentrate on. It also lets you take a look at yourself in a balanced way. I was always told to deliver a criticism in a 'compliment sandwich'. "your idea is really inventive, we might need to make a small change but apart from that I think it will work really well." It's all about making a criticism softer and focusing on what's good. Here is my idea to try:

The idea is to start at a negative circle: 'I want to be more' 'I need to work on' 'bad habits' 'I want to start'. It doesn't matter which one you start at as long as you work around the circle. This means that every time you write something negative about yourself, you follow it with a positive. If you get stuck on a positive then you can't continue until you have thought of something. If you are stuck on a negative then move on. The biggest achievement for me would be to struggle to find a negative about myself yet find positives.

The idea after you have written this is to see how things link together. For example in mine it says I want to be more active and start swimming again so by swimming I'd reach two of my goals. My positives include my home, husband and family so by being around them more and making sure my home is more organised, as mentioned, then this should keep me content.

However you do it, whether it's written, verbal to someone or thoughts to yourself why don't you give it a go. A positive for each negative. Let me know how it goes.

Much love,
Becky xx

Dear Becky

Dear Becky,

I'm so proud of how you are doing now and how far you have come. You've dealt with mental illness in all it's ugly glory and come out of it a more enlightened person. Your blog seems to be doing well and is hopefully helping others like you wanted it to do. Saying this I don't want to put a downer on things but I am a little worried.

You started at rock bottom and worked your way back up. You came up with strategies and plans to help but you don't seem to stick to things and old habits came back. I'm worried these old habits will drag you back down. You have the answers so why not practise what you preach?! You've slipped back to late nights on the internet and then getting up late. You're eating better but still binge on sugar when you know it doesn't agree with you and can affect your mood. You forget to take your tablet sometimes and that makes you feel strange. You used to love swimming and Zumba before but have become less active. I know you are concentrating on working full time and on your blog but you need to be selfish. That's your downfall. You don't put yourself first.

If you really thought about it you'd get to bed earlier, wake up at a decent time to have a good breakfast and have cuddles with your husband and your dog before work because that makes you feel ready for the day. You'd continue your blog but not obsess over how many views it has or if it's promoted enough. People are reading it so it must be doing some good out there. You need to get outdoors more. You love the outdoors; camping, glamping, the sea, forests, the fresh air. Yet you're starting to sleep in and stay at home. I don't think you are doing things wrong you are just not doing them right for you. Things could be better and you deserve them to be the best they can.

I really hope you take my advice and remember I love you.

Much love,
Yourself xx



As a personal challenge can you write a letter to yourself? I found it very therapeutic and hope it can help you too.

Much love,
Becky xx