After a road trip today I came home rather tired and had a lovely bath. I felt so much better after it. It got me thinking about a link that has been made to depression and neglecting personal hygiene. Many people will know this stage of depression. In my first few weeks I'm afraid to say that I was a complete mess due to this.
My hair became knotted and greasy as I hadn't brushed or washed it. I brushed my teeth once a day at the most and some days just gargled mouthwash instead which made my gums bleed and red. I used baby wipes instead of having a bath and really struggled to eat and drink a decent amount. I also used to get to the point that it was so physically painful to hold in a wee that only then would I go to the toilet and leave my bed.
With my husband's help I'd have a bath. The bath made me feel quite vulnerable, I'm not sure why but I didn't like being in it. My husband had helped me getting in and out as I felt very weak and dizzy at this time. I just wanted to be wrapped in a towel in the bath and sleep. I was so tired. I washed my hair a little but it really took all my energy. My husband helped dry me and I put on my pj's and went back to lie down with soaking wet hair. I never got around to drying my hair and just needed to rest.
It wasn't that I couldn't be bothered or didn't care. It made me feel worse that I was such a mess and yes I had noticed. I just had no energy and wanted to be laid down. My head felt too heavy for my body, I was dizzy and tired, I was in pain and I kept losing my balance. What a state!
So why would I want to tell you this? I'm disappointed and embarrassed in myself by this but I'm not ashamed. It's a common stage of depression that I have heard many people talk about. I wanted you to know that you are not alone for the people that have experienced this. I wanted to end stigma and talk about mental health issues honestly no matter how embarrassing I find a subject. I want you to know that mental illness sucks but it does get better.
Much love,
Becky xx
4 comments:
I have had many of the same issues. Thanks for talking about it. I thought it was something only I was going through.
it was something that when I googled it so many forums and topics came up. I knew there was a link but didn't realise just how many people were talking about this and saying they had been through the same
Thanks for sharing your experience. It helped me understand the everyday impact of depression better.
you're welcome :) I want to be informative on it and let people know what's 'normal' for depression. It can get a stigma of people not trying or being lazy/difficult but it really is so debilitating at its peak
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