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Friday, June 17, 2016

Getting Your Hopes Up

High hopes, wishes, dreams... we all have them. We day dream and play scenarios through in our head of "what if". We imagine things. We base them on reality but with that extra bit of sparkle thrown in. This might just be me but when I'm on a high of being really happy and positive my hopes and dreams can run away with me and sometimes my dreams takeover. I decide on something and plan for it, make lists, buy the things I need for it and so on. Then they start to become a little bit of an obsession. I get my hopes up so high that although I know they might not happen, it's like I now need them to. I tell myself that it's the way forward and what needs to happen. When really dreams aren't needs, they are wants.

In some ways dreams can be beneficial and in other ways it can bring you crashing down. For example going into an exam with the attitude of "I'm going to pass", "this will lead to better things" "I'm going to nail this" "I'll pass then get my dream job after college with this" will stop worry setting in and give you a drive to go for it. It will make you more relaxed and able to get on with the work. But it may also make you complacent thinking that you don't need to put in a lot of effort because you've told yourself it will be easy. Or even worse, you take one look at the paper and it's a lot more difficult than you thought. Your high goes to a low and you tell yourself you were stupid to ever think you could do that. So do we stop dreaming and wishing? No!

We need dreams and fantasies to give us that determination. We need to think of the cup half full to stop us from thinking we are stuck in a place we don't wish to be. But we need to balance these dreams with reality and manage our expectations. Remember that your dreams aren't going to fall in your lap. They might need time to pan out, effort, hard work, cooperation from others, planning, finances... They may also never happen or change completely from the original idea, but you shouldn't feel crushed. Re-evaluate the situation and see what you can change about it to take a small step towards your dream. If the plan needs abandoning then think of something else you want to aim for. Look at what you have and think of the things you are grateful for and that you have achieved already. Don't give up on your dreams but at the same time live in the now and appreciate what you have already.

Much love,
Becky xx

6 comments:

Tracy said...

Well written and well said. I'm at a loss for dreams right now. I'd like to get them back. Hugs!

Becky said...

I hope you find some soon! I can have good dreams that give me determination and something to look forward to but then I can have things I really hope for and doubt they will happen. That can make me want something but put myself down about never getting there. I try to concentrate on things right now if I can

Steven Williams said...

Appreciation of what you have is so hard with depression. When you think of yourself as a loser because you can't meet your own expectations. It.makes it hard since you think you should be further ahead of where you are, but should always have dreams. If I didn't have dreams, I don't think I could keep going.

Becky said...

yes easier said than done. I tend to be a little different in that I really don't care what's around me or what's happening during depression. I'm very impartial to everything so I don't care enough to see the bad things but also don't appreciate anything either. I can think "why me" or "just my luck" when I'm down but when depressed the world could end and I'd just shrug

Steven Williams said...

I know what you mean. During depression I expect bad things to happen. When they do my friends are surprised with how well I "handle it". It's like I just shrug

Becky said...

Yes! sometimes it's like the worlds ending anyway so what's one more thing and I understand what you mean because it's like you're ready for it