It's Been Awhile

Hello again,

I remember the day I sat starring at my laptop wondering what I could write on my blog. "I think I'm too well for this" I said. It was as though I wasn't depressed or anxious enough to make comment on the topic. I felt some of my posts now unrelatable to myself. I acknowledged how far I'd come, condensed everything down to 99 posts and guest posts, closed my then Twitter account, said goodbye to my Facebook group and archived the blog as an achievement.

I often found over the years other people's problems arised and I could say "I wrote a post about that" and would share a blog post or two with them and tell them this is where I 'used to be' with that. And on life went. 

Since the last posts around pregnancy life continued. So did a spout of obsessive behaviours, panic attacks, spirralling thoughts about what 'doomsday' would happen if this didn't happen or that panned out wildly different, a very difficult divorce, a TIA, medical problems and all the little things life likes to throw in just to keep things spicy. But I wasn't 'Not Just Depressed' poorly or struggling. I was 'fine'. Just fine. I was ok. Until I wasn't.

And today I'm back on my blog. Why? 

Because through the darkest of times I decided to document, research, reach out, make myself vulnerable and most importantly talk.... or type.

Not Just Depressed reached over 100 countries last time. It became a public diary almost and then condensed to little bitesized pieces of knowledge and learnt lessons. 

Many said why am I concentrating on helping others when I needed help myself. Well there's a blog post about that pending but... it helped before. It is human for many of us to remain of use and service to others in dark times as a means of survival, focus and purpose.

It's what Becky does. 

So I decided to post again. And to keep posting until once again the content dries up and I no longer relate. To post thoughts and feelings along with knowledge and science. As before. To bring insight and understanding. To spread kindness and show love. To show compassion and be blunt as hell too. Another thing about me is filters aren't always intact when it comes to too much information. They remain kind but there are some very awkward things that we do need to mention.

So here we again. One blog post at a time. I wondered if any of you would like to come along with me?

Much love,

Becky xx