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Tuesday, March 08, 2016

Needy, Sensitive Soul

Let's talk about being needy. I'm needy sometimes although I'm also very independant. I can be in control and take charge but then other times I need lots of reassurance. I don't know whether it relates to my depression, anxiety or my personality but I do know that I haven't always been like this.

My neediness shows in many ways...
  • telling my husband I love him probably more than 10 times a day just to make sure that he knows that even though we are ridiculously close
  • telling a joke then immediately feeling silly and asking if they liked it even though they are laughing and smiling
  • asking for help with things when someone is around but then doing it myself when no one is there
  • wanting lots of cuddles all the time
  • asking people "are you OK" A LOT because I think they might not be because of me somehow
  • yesterday's post asking for people to comment on my posts so I know what they think about it and if it is any good
  • checking my Twitter and blog over and over within a few minutes to see if anyone has viewed or posted
I found a website that described needy behaviour as either seeking approval or seeking attention. From what I do I would definitely say I seek approval and I'm not sure why? I think it relates to self confidence. Although I am independent and capable that doesn't mean I have confidence and anxiety can make you really doubt yourself and your abilities and overthink what others are saying, feeling and thinking.

Sometimes needy can come across as cute but always remember that it may be a sign someone needs reassurance. My husband used to think I was really cuddly in general but now asks if I'm OK when I want to cling onto him like a baby monkey! If your partner seems needy ask if they are alright or need to talk. It may be a way of saying I need you, talk to me or help.

NOTE: many of the things mentioned above are no longer part of my daily routine and I can see that I do and say these things when I feel highly anxious, nervous or unconfident


BEING SENSITIVE
Being a sensitive soul... is it a curse or a gift? There are pros and cons to this. Personally I've always been sensitive. Crying in infant school when someone else is told off, taking a lost dog home because I couldn't drive on and leave it, crying at charity adverts, getting emotional at talent shows because someone tried really hard, feeling sorry for cartoon characters in dilemma's, wiping a wallabys nose at the zoo because it was runny and he looked cold and wet.... I know, I know. I feel deeply for strangers, worry about little things and take things personally. Let's have a look at what being sensitive entails...

Cons
  • getting easily upset and taking things personally
  • worrying about what other people think and feel
  • not always saying what you want to say because you are scared of how it will be received
  • letting people be mean and insensitive to you
  • taking on other people's problems ALL THE TIME
  • likely to cry more and probably being known as the 'soft one'
  • deeply affected by news stories, world events, charity posts, etc...
Pros
  • caring for others no matter who they are
  • feeling a full range of emotions and experiencing them fully
  • thinking how your words and actions will affect others
  • being seen as the 'nice' person
  • finding ways to help people and being charitable to others
  • you can put yourselves in others shoes and you are very understanding
  • politeness
So looking at the pros and cons do I still want to be sensitive? YES!! I embrace it. I don't want to toughen up my feelings. I want to rescue birds with broken wings, I want to tell babies it's ok when they cry, I want to be cuddly with people, I want to be able to feel others pain and emotions, I want to be understanding and I want to feel as many emotions as I can because that is a beautiful gift to completely understand life.

Much love,

Becky xx

2 comments:

Marie Keen said...

Hi Sweetie
Where to start.Mm Yes, most of those points. I also wouldn't say I was needy or seeking attention. If I'm honest with myself, I'm both. Not sure if they are prerequisites of each other but don't cancel each other out either. I seem to spend most of my time worrying whether I'm being needy especially when friends as if I'm ok. It's taken a long time to be able to say no if I'm not. I am passionate and sensitive person. I love cuddling and closeness but then worry I'm being clingy.Usually resulting in not cuddling as much as I would like.I think we all seek attention and reassurance to one degree or another. Having depression dosen't change that. I think the preconceptions of having an illness and the way we expect other people to react to it can make us overthink things more. This last blog brought tears to my eyes because some of the points hit very close. Thanks sweetie. Love the blogs. Marie xx

Becky said...

Next time I see you we're hugging it out! So its not only me! I want to write a post about being sensitive. Its a beautiful curse sometimes. Lots of pros and cons but I admire people who show sensitivity. You ooze niceness and friendliness in the groups we've been to with a lovely laugh and smile to go with it. And made me laugh a lot :) so if thats needy I bloody like it! :)