Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Come Back Memory!

I wonder how many of you share this trait with me. Since becoming depressed I really struggle with zoning out. Following a conversation can be a real problem, especially if it's not too interesting to start with. If I'm given a lot to remember or a large list of tasks I can switch off half way through or try to listen but only pick up small amounts of information. 

I can hear perfectly fine but sometimes it's as though I just can't work out what people are saying to me. I often agree or nod without knowing what people have said and often have to ask people to repeat what they have said; sometimes more than once.

I can find conversations irritating and frustrating sometimes. I can't quite hear well, their voice becomes just noise, my head hurts, my eyes blur and I get confused and then annoyed. I tend not to look directly at people too much anymore either when they speak. So I can't rely on lip reading or picking up on gestures. I'm not sure why this started but it did.

I've noticed that conversations are a lot easier when I am really relaxed. If I'm in the middle of a supermarket and my husband phones I really struggle to get my words out and think of what I want to say, yet when we are cuddled up on the sofa conversation is easy.

I even zone out with other things like the television. I can watch a show and an advert come on and have no idea what I've just watched. It's a complete surprise to what's going to come on after the advert sometimes. It can be really scary as I've always had a good memory and I feel like I'm losing my short term memory completely.

I can walk around in a total trance and suddenly be somewhere and not remember the last part of the journey, I go into rooms and forget why I'm there, I lock my front door and get in my car and get back out again to check it because I can't even remember shutting the door never mind locking it, I forget I've set the bath running, I forget names... the list goes on. I'm frightened if this is going to be normal from now on. I've decided to speak to my GP the next time I go in but I'm worried what they might say. Does anyone else suffer from this?

Much love,
Becky xx

26th March 2017

When I feel I'm struggling this is all still true to me BUT for the majority of the time my memory is back to normal as well as my attention. Only when I'm anxious or low is this an issue.


Steven Williams said...

yes, I do. I have a difficult time staying focused on conversations. I really have to focus to make sure I lock my door. Many times when I'm stopped at a traffic light, I can't remember how I got there. Many times during a conversation I have to asked people to repeat themselves. I get annoyed/angry. I tell myself I'm just getting old, but it is concerning.

Becky said...

Yes I do that when driving sometimes too. It is worrying and very annoying. I get to the point where I can't be bothered talking to people because I find it difficult. I had a look online and a lot of people said they had problems with concentration and memory and most thought they were the only ones too. I also find it hard with side effects like this because I presume everything must be related to depression so I don't know when to worry about something or not

louise mcdermott said...

I get this. Some times people think I'm being rude, or only bothered about myself. But I can't seem to control it. I'm not thinking of other things, my mind is completely blank.

Becky said...

yes! I get told I'm being rude or shy in big groups but I'm just trying to catch up on the conversation, never mind join in